Choice
by Madame Atomic Bomb
Summary: Suki makes a choice. (Zuki ficlet)


"He asked me to choose. He asked me to marry him and move to Republic City. And I…" Suki said on his doorway the moment he'd answered it, looking beautiful and terrified and so unsure of herself that he was infected with her anxiety in an instant.

"You…you could have resigned in a letter. I would have understood," Zuko mumbled numbly, images of the happy couple splashing across his mind in lurid detail. A sick, sinking feeling grabbed him then and he was sure she'd see it, that she'd know…and that she'd pity him, fool that he was. "Congratulations."

"He asked me to choose," she repeated shakily, coming into his suite. Her perfume teased him as she walked past and he felt another knife-like jerk in his mid-section. The floor seemed to be made of quicksand and there was a bitter taste in his mouth.

"Choose what? What happened?"

"When I left it wasn't because I needed a vacation. I left because I was confused and I needed to see him. I needed to see Sokka and…I needed to figure some things out."

He said nothing, watching her as she stood there in his room, misery and terror draping her warrior's frame, lending unhappy shadows to the corners of her mouth, and staining the blue of her wet eyes.

"Things about…Sokka and me. About our relationship. About my feelings," Suki said and met his gaze. "I was confused."

"About what?"

"About…" But her voice seemed to desert her and she swallowed heavily, staring at him for a long moment. "I thought being with him would make it clearer, that I'd realize how stupid I was being… But it didn't. And…and all I could think about while I was there was…" But again, she stopped herself.

"Suki…" He reached for her on instinct, unable to stop himself this time. How many times had he ached to put his arms around her? To touch her face, to kiss her until she smiled? There was something about her that made him forget himself. She had a way about her, a lightness of being, a surety in who she was, where she stood in life, her opinions, her sense of self. She had all of the confidence he didn't see in himself and being around her made it easier to forget that.

She made everything easier. No wonder Sokka had fallen in love with her. No wonder he had found himself doing the same, hard as he'd tried to fight it.

Now, seeing her standing in front of him, so unsure, so frightened and acting so unlike herself, he didn't know what to do or how to react. He forgot himself and the distance he was supposed to keep. He folded her up in his arms and she sank into his embrace as easily as butter melting into warm bread.

It felt right, with her arms around his waist, her face tucked into the curve of his neck, his chin on her head. She held him tightly, her hands fisting up in his loose red tunic, so tightly he was sure she was holding herself up against him.

"Tell me what happened," he whispered into her hair.

"He proposed and I froze. I couldn't say yes. I couldn't get the words out. I thought about moving to Republic City and what that would mean and I couldn't stop thinking about…" Her arms squeezed him even tighter and her breath whispered across his skin. "I hesitated too long. I panicked, I think. And he asked me why I hadn't said yes yet and I said… I said that I couldn't leave the Fire Nation. That I couldn't leave you and… We had a fight. We both said some things. Awful things. About how we're always apart. About how I'm always…with you. About how he's suspected…"

Zuko stiffened then, a runnel of fear rolling through him. He pulled back from her, meeting her wet gaze. "Suspected what?"

"That I have feelings for you."

Zuko stared at her for a long moment, almost forgetting to breathe. He was on a knife edge, dancing. "That's…"

"He told me to deny it, and if I did he'd believe me," she said softly, clutching his bare arms.

Zuko's stomach was folding in on itself. He stared at her in numb confusion, trying to process what she was saying, and more importantly, what she wasn't. She was_ here_, after all.

She was here, with _him_…

"Suki…"

"I _wanted_ to say it and mean it. I didn't want to hurt him, but I'd already figured it out. I wasn't confused anymore."

"What are you saying?"

"I loved him. I was deeply in love with Sokka for such a long time. I always thought we'd eventually settle down together and get married and have fat babies and that that would be my life. But it didn't happen. He's been busy building Republic City and I've been here with you. Our lives are so different. And…things changed. For me. I've sort of known that for a while. A couple of years, maybe. But I didn't know what to do, or how I actually felt. That's why I left. I had to know. "

"And you know now?"

She nodded. "He asked me to choose and I did. I choose my life here, the one I built for myself. I love my life here. I love my job. I love the Fire Nation. Its home now. …You're home to me, Zuko. I'm in love with you."

He just stared at her, a pain right behind his ribs, stabbing and shocking and spreading down his limbs. He swallowed hard, the information slowly working its way through his shock. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

Horror bloomed in Suki's eyes and she immediately backed away from him, hand covering her mouth like she wanted to cram the words back inside. A tear spilled from her eyes, hot and salty. "I'm…I'm sorry. I didn't mean… I've overstepped. I mean… Forget I said anything!"

Too late, he realized his mistake, that she had taken his shock for rejection. When she turned to flee for the door, his hand shot out and grasped her wrist. He swung her around, hauling her against his chest. They staggered together as his mouth slammed down over hers in a tight, uncontrolled kiss that grew wilder with each passing moment. Her mouth was hot and soft, tasting of her tears, desperate against his.

His arms went around her again, not for comfort, but for claiming. His hands were in her hair, on her back, her waist. Taking everything she offered and returning in kind. When they finally broke the kiss, panting hard against each other's lips, Suki tilted her head back and stared at him in wonder.

"Does this mean…?"

Zuko nodded. "I love you too. Welcome home."

_(end)_


End file.
